4 Frequent Mistakes In Our Relationships

There are certain errors that are frequent in our relationships, but that sometimes go unnoticed in the middle of the routines to which we have become accustomed.

Trying to pay attention to those details, as well as analyzing the changes that we can incorporate into our habits are some of the keys to addressing them.

Next we will do a brief review of those little oversights that mark distances between couples.

Frequent mistakes in our relationships

1. Loving is not just saying “I love you”

It is likely that you have lived this experience on occasion. Having a relationship and missing a simple “I love you” every day.

However, although words can be comforting, there are also other ways to express affection:

• Each person expresses their love in one way: that is, there are those who are more expressive, while others are somewhat more withdrawn and show their appreciation in other ways. But not by externalizing less, “you love yourself less.”

• Different aspects also communicate: for example, the look, that daily smile, unconditional support or admiration are gestures that also convey great affection.

• It is difficult to lie with actions, but not so much with language. The words may be exaggerated or adorned with beautiful nuances, so observing how someone cares for us and treats us is presented as a most revealing element.

However, if what we perceive is that our partner “loves us less than we show,” putting our own needs and concerns on the table is a clear strategy to consider.

Keep reading: Passionate love vs. stable love

2. Loving does not mean giving everything for nothing

This is a common failure. Under it, there is a tendency to think that loving your partner means giving everything unconditionally and without limits. However, it is possible to ask ourselves some basic questions to ponder:

• Is there a real exchange, a certain balance? That is, do we see that just as we offer, our partner also does it? Do we notice that we form a team?
• If this is not the case, can we identify what we feel in these circumstances? Do emotions such as frustration, sadness, or anger appear?

If, when analyzing these questions, the feeling we have is that of rowing alone, let us consider the alternative of openly exposing what worries us and causes discomfort.

3. Shut up in the face of what bothers us

Another common mistake in our relationships is thinking that others are going to realize everything that hurts or bothers us. We assume that the other will “guess”.

In other words, there are those who choose to remain silent and get angry, instead of expressing aloud what they do not like. This, after all, is an indirect means of attracting attention, but without informing or explaining the reason for such behavior.

But what do you get by throwing “invisible darts” at the other person? Do we know of alternative strategies to handle this situation? Would a conversation with our partner be viable?

The path of dialogue would be an opportunity to say what we want or dislike and, thus, reach agreements that improve coexistence

4. Forgetting your “own” personal space

Let’s say we started dating when we were very young. We focus our entire world on that person, which has to do with the commitment to build a life project with that partner.

However, this procedure involves some risks that also make it one of the frequent mistakes in our relationships:

• If by maintaining that bond, we neglect such important areas as studies, family, friendships or work, we will lose stimuli that are very valuable for our well-being.
• Furthermore, insofar as these areas constitute different scenarios in which to develop ourselves, the personal growth that they allowed will, in turn, be reduced.

Given this, research such as that led by Professor Katie R. Genadek highlights just the opposite. That is, how the individual experiences of the members of the couple (undertaking other activities, being alone or going to social encounters) increase the quality of the time that they then share.

Given that, in addition, these learnings allow us to cultivate ourselves in other aspects and continue to enrich ourselves in interactions, the possibility of having one’s own space is a factor to consider to enjoy a healthy relationship.

What do we learn from these mistakes in our relationships?

These guidelines represent a support from which to explore certain errors that become frequent in our relationships.

When identifying any of these oversights, let us remember that there are keys that can help us improve our management of them.