Going Back With An Ex, Does It Create More Problems Than Advantages?

Relationships go through differences that can lead to an imminent breakdown. However, sometimes after this, one of the members considers trying again. Is it okay to get back with an ex? 

The truth is that everything depends on the circumstances that have led us to end the relationship and, also, on the reasons that drive us to try again. For example, doing it because we feel lonely is not a valid reason.

What leads you to get back with an ex?

What leads you to get back with an ex? One of the reasons we break up with our partner is the lack of maturity and a series of “silly” differences that we have not been able to manage. Therefore, getting back with an ex may be an option in these cases. To try again what once we have not been able to solve.

At other times the situation is more complicated. We refer to the circumstances where lies and infidelity have made an appearance in the relationship. Here affection and knowing how to forgive are very influential. We want to give our partner another chance, but we must do so without harboring a grudge in our hearts. Otherwise, getting back together with your ex could be a disastrous experience.

Sometimes we decide to try again because there are children involved. We think it’s worth the effort, but you have to want to do this. Don’t do it just for your kids, do it for yourself too. Many couples decide to return just to avoid getting that “what if” thorn. Go wrong or go right, at least they won’t live in doubt.

If you want to get back with an ex, go ahead! There can be a lot of positives in all of this. You already know it, you will be more united, you will have shared the experience of overcoming a big bump … However, make sure that this is not a step back, but a step forward.

Disadvantages of getting back with an ex

Here are some disadvantages of getting back together with your ex:

1. Nothing is the same

Let’s imagine that there has been an infidelity involved and trust has been totally damaged. It is impossible for everything to be the same as before. No matter how much effort both members put in, no matter how much intention you have, there is a very deep wound … Nothing is the same anymore.

Trying to do so then will be a constant struggle against expectations that will never be met. Nothing will ever be the same again, so you have to think about whether you want to be in this new situation or not.

2. It prevents you from growing

By getting back together with your ex, you’ve taken a big step back. You have tried again and again and you know that there is no possibility of moving forward, that it prevents you from growing. However, you want to continue insisting.

This prevents you from meeting new people. You close doors by anchoring yourself to a relationship that has remained in the past. Perhaps because you are afraid to step out of your comfort zone, perhaps because you think you will be left alone.

3. The damage can be worse

Relationships wear out due to conflicts, problems, everything that we do not face for fear of losing everything. Forgiving too much, continuing to try when you should let go can lead to grudges and anger, as well as great unhappiness. Therefore, the damage may be worse.

4. Beware of dependency

Sometimes we go back to our ex because we have low self-esteem and this has generated a certain dependency. Beware of dependency! It also means that, without a partner, we feel incomplete and, until we find someone else to start a relationship with, we tie ourselves to the one we already have. Dependency not only undermines relationships, but people as well.

Getting back with an ex is a decision that has to be very thoughtful and thoughtful. It is not easy, since the problems that led to the rupture have a lot to do with it. As long as you are sure, that you do not have a grudge, that you do not want to “pay with the same currency” or simply try because you are afraid of being alone, go ahead …

Getting back with an ex can be one of the best decisions of your life to realize that they really are the person you want to spend the rest of your days with.