I, In Your Place, Would Have Done The Same

We must take into account the circumstances that led to these decisions and understand that it is more than likely that we would have acted in the same way.

Sometimes I have blamed you and held you in your face for everything you have done. However, I have forgotten that I, in your place, would have done the same.

We tend to look at the people next to us and pour all our frustration and pain onto them. Above all, with the closest members of our family.

In his own circumstances, with his experiences, he would have done the same

It is easy for us to scold our parents or members of our family for depression, low self-esteem or any other problem resulting from a trauma we have experienced.

Perhaps, if our parents have had a turbulent relationship, they have put us aside. That has affected us so much that now we have many problems in our relationships.

However, they really are not to blame that we try to put them on.

Circumstances were what they were and, although we are in trouble now, we are no longer little children. We are responsible and we can solve them.

However, it is much easier not to assume this responsibility. Something that prevents us from thinking that, had we been in the place of that person we blamed, we would have done the same.

We may refuse to accept this evidence, but of course! It is that we are seeing it from our “I”.

As we are, we would have acted differently, but what about the time in which they lived? And with their problems, fears and traumas?

There are no valid excuses. We would have walked the same path as those we now blame.

In adulthood, you are responsible

As a child you were vulnerable. You did not choose the experiences that you had to live with your parents, grandparents or other members of your family.

It is normal that at that stage of your life you feel the situation as unfair and it is even natural that it bothered you a little. Perhaps a great fear arose in you at that moment and that you have been dragging it until the present moment.

However, once you grow up, the responsibility for what happens to you is yours alone. It doesn’t matter who has left a negative imprint on you. If you are wrong and you do nothing to fix it, no one but you is to blame.

The experiences are positive, even those that hurt the most. You know why? Because from each one of them you can get something good.

Overcoming a huge pain or trauma from the past will allow us to mature, grow and be better people.

However, if we stay in the comfort of complaining and continue to blame others for what happens to us, we will not be able to move forward.

Anchored to a past that cannot be changed

If we accepted that we would have done the same as those who have hurt us, we would lift off a great weight, a great slab that we have placed on our backs.

That burden is called the past, and not letting go is quite an ordeal.

The past must be let go. Having it well present in the now prevents us from enjoying today. Our days will be tinged with anguish, with “what if it had been otherwise?” and thousands of thoughts that won’t change anything.

To understand that in the place of those who have hurt us, who have caused us some kind of pain, we would have done the same, it will be like breathing after a while holding our breath.

We all make mistakes and sometimes we are not aware of how much they affect those around us.

However, all this is normal, it is an opportunity to grow. Because we are responsible for what happens to us. Do we blame life for sometimes being so difficult?

At all times we are the ones who must steer the helm. Well, the same thing happens with respect to relationships with others.