It’s Not What Happens To You, It’s How You Think It

In this article we help you understand that life is not just “what happens to you”, but the way you deal with it, that is, “how you think about it.” Let’s talk about it today.

If there is something that we have a hard time adapting to, it is the unforeseen. People tend to have the habit of wanting to have everything under control. We make plans every day, put pending tasks on the agenda and build expectations about what we want for ourselves and even for others.

Until, suddenly, the unforeseen arises, what we did not have and that, somehow, frustrates our ideals, our objectives. How to deal with it? How can we accept that sometimes fatality or something negative will suddenly break into our lives?

It’s not what happens to you, it’s how you think about it

Surely in your personal and social circle you will meet several people who have had to live very hard situations. There are those who face everything with a smile.

Others, however, do not have adequate psychological resources and tend to fall into depression. Or, simply, they feel overwhelmed by a situation that they do not know very well how to manage.

Life, at times, tends to be more complex than one expects. Adversity can arise from one day to the next without us even being able to guess its arrival: an accident, the loss of a job, an emotional disappointment, a friend who betrays us, the diagnosis of an illness …

The unforeseen has many faces and it is not always something kind or positive;  hence the need to have adequate personal resources to know how to cope with such situations. Because the important thing is not what happens to you, but how you think about it.

Accept uncertainty

Life is not a peaceful stream where everything will flow calmly according to our expectations. No one can guarantee us either that we can enjoy constant and secure happiness.

In fact, sometimes, no matter how hard we try to do something in particular, the result is not what we expected. Nothing is certain, hence the importance of accepting “ uncertainty “.

You are more than your circumstances

You are more than your own circumstances. You are not what “happens” to you, you are how you face it and how you think about it. To understand it, we will give you an example.

You have been married for 5 years and have two children. Everything seems to be going well until, suddenly, one day your partner leaves you with those two still very young children. So are you “an abandoned woman”? Are you a “single woman with two children”?

Not at all, you are much more than this. You are that woman who will be able to continue raising two excellent children. You are a woman who will face life to be happy again, because you trust yourself. So, always remember: “It’s not what happens to you, it’s how you think about it.”

Life is a complex adventure that will always put us to the test to bring out what we all have inside. Find your own resources to face it, act with courage thinking that you deserve the best. We show you how to get it below.

Resources to deal with life’s unforeseen events

There is no magic formula that allows us all to deal with adversity in the same way. Each situation has its characteristics and, in turn, each of us will have a personality type.

Some will be more reserved, others will be more insecure, and some will be somewhat impulsive. However, to face the unforeseen events of life, there are some basic axes that should invite us to reflect and take them into account.

Understand that life will not always be as you wish

Avoid forming very specific expectations about what you want for yourself or what you expect from others. It is possible that tomorrow you will not be able to have “that ideal house” or “that job where you work little and get paid a lot.” Or maybe your partner “doesn’t love you until the end of days.”

Always be objective. Let things come day by day, thanking all the good that you find, without getting frustrated at what does not happen as you wish.

Think positively but always be realistic

This detail is essential. There are those who make the mistake of always maintaining a somewhat naive and excessive optimism, when, in reality, this type of approach is rather a daily motivation that should give us strength to continue forward, with courage and with improvement.

Being positive is also being realistic. It is not focusing too much on excessive expectations and keeping our feet on the ground, being aware of  our strengths and our limitations.

Learn from adversity

Have you heard of the term resilience? It is that attitude through which people are not only capable of coping with the unforeseen or fatal, but we also obtain learning to emerge stronger. Always keep it in mind.

To conclude, you already know that good things and not so good things can happen to you in life. It is something that, at times, is going to get out of your control.

However, what happens to you does not define you at all. What really matters is how you think about it and how you deploy your own resources to deal with it. The effort is worth it!